Now repeat this after me:
Dear God I am a sinner. What I mean by that God, is that I have broken your laws. I admit to doing this. Yet, the reason I do this God, is because I like doing the things you command me not to do. You have said for instance, "you shall love the Lord God with all of your heart, mind, and soul." I cannot do this, God. How can I begin to love you in this manner, when I must truly admit that I do not love you at all. And why would I? You are my great kill joy. You command me to stop doing the things that I love, and I'm supposed to obey. Why else do you think suppress your truth in unrighteousness? I suppress your truth in the hopes that I will not have to think about your laws, and therefore not have to comply. I aim to obey you, because I see that what you say is true. That said however, I cannot bow to you now. I have too many things to see and do, and so you'll have to wait. It is for this reason that I have not come to your Christ. As a matter of fact, the thought of your Christ is repulsive to me. When I consider him and his ways, I see myself as exceedingly wicked in comparison; therefore I choose to remain in darkness. There is peace is darkness for me, as I am not troubled with your laws or my conscience there. Oh that you'd just leave me alone! That you'd go away and let me be the master of my own faith and captain of my own soul, is my hope. Yet, I know that it is futile for me to hope in this manner. I know enough to know this: You are God, and you will do whatever you desire. Furthermore, I know that because you are good and holy, you will by no means let the guilty go unpunished. Because of my knowledge of these facts, I am praying to you. You will judge all sinners, and no man will have power over you. I will not stand against the Almighty, as I am just a mere man; yea even as a grasshopper to you. Oh God that I hate, change me. Change me to love you that I will not suffer your wrath. Change me to love you, as I cannot do this in my own strength. Change me to love you, because you will be glorified in your grace shown toward one such as me. Change me to love you that I may know your worth, and come to see experimentally, that your ways are good and right. Have mercy on me, oh God. I ask you for these mercies in Jesus' name. Amen.
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